I was born in Fort Collins, Colorado, but recently moved to Deltona, Florida. I like it, but there are too many bugs and too much humidity. My daughter, husband, and myself moved on christmas - it was bad.
I lost my job and wasn't able to get one in time to pay rent. Fort almost a month we knew we had to flee to Florida to live w/ Gracie's grandparents, it was so hard to keep my mouth shut about it. If I said anything, my family would talk me out of going. I'm very close to everyone and I know they could break me down.
We packed the night before, late, so no one would pop over and see our van full of our stuff. We packed so fast that I left behind so many meaningful things like x-mas presents and memorabilia. Some I didn't realize I left behind until much later.
Everyone was so mad at me, we up and left 6 am x-mas eve and didn't tell anyone. It was the hardest thing I've ever done! I was tired of living under my parent's wing. Not that they were forcing me, but I kept falling and looking to them to pick me up when I really need to do it myself. I'm 22 now, I shouldn't need to depend on my parents help me live, I need to be able to do it on my own. That is one of the many important lessons I've learned from my dad. It tore me up knowing I'd break his heart when I left, I took his first boy and his only granddaughter away from him w/o letting him say goodbye.
"Do what you've always done, get what you've always gotten," the words of my smart-cookie stepmother are so true. When you run from your problems, you're not fixing them, they'll always be there to haunt you. "For every action, there is a positive or negative reaction." The positive was forcing myself to do it myself, the negative was leaving everything and everyone I knew, my life, my world, for "better things" and guess what.....my life has been a living hell living w/ Ralph and Betty.
It's not Ralph, it's Betty!!! But that will be another blog. I write everything in my diary so there will be many blogs to come!
We are just now, 6 months later, moving out into our own apartment! I"m so excited!!! It's not that I don't appreciate what R&B have done for us, Betty just made it really hard!
To be continued...
Monday, June 05, 2006
